Us Twins and Our Significant Others

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When people are looking for their significant other and or soulmate they tend to say that they are looking for their opposite, their other half.

When my twin sister Billie and I would go through boyfriends we sometimes made jokes about how our boyfriends would call us their other half. The reason that it was so funny was that growing up as a twin, me and my sister always felt that we were each others “other half.” In addition, we would call our significant others our “other other half.”

Today, I have been with my boyfriend Kaipo for about 1 year and 3 months, and my sister Billie has been with her boyfriend Reyko for about 2 years and 3 months. It’s ironic that my sister and her boyfriend started dating on December 31, 2010, and exactly a year later my boyfriend Kaipo asked me out on the exact same day of 2012.

Although our boyfriends are not twins and are not anything a like, they posses characteristics and a personality similar to ourselves. The only difference is my personality is very much like my sisters boyfriend Reyko, and my twin sister’s personality is very much found in the characteristics of my boyfriend Kaipo.

My sister and I talked about this subject a few times and I started to realize that I was very much drawn to my boyfriend Kaipo not only because he was opposite of myself, but  because he was very much like my twin sister Billie.

In addition, I am pretty convinced that twins who date, tend to seek love in a partner who is very similar to their twin because it feels complete, safe, and right.

I love you Kahealani

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The Parent Trap….. More Like “The Teacher Trap” haha (A Twin Confession)

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Do you remember that 1998 movie staring Lindsay Lohan? The one that reunited two identical twin sisters at a summer camp where these girls started as enemies, and ended up becoming bestfriends and switching lives with one another?

Well, this movie was called “The PARENT trap” for a reason.

Being a twin has it’s challenges, but it also has its twists. Twins have the ability to switch places and pretend to be the other person.

Growing up, my twin sister and I would sometimes pretend to be the other person in front of family members and friends to trick them, but in a funny way. It didn’t occur to me that we could actually pull it off at school.

So here’s our confession: (And if you were a past teacher, and you’re reading this, we love you  🙂

In the second grade my twin sister and I decided to switch classes because I had a math quiz, and my sister Billie had to work outside in the school garden. I highly disliked math, and I still do, and my twin sister was a girly girl, she didn’t really enjoy the mud as much as I did.

We ended up pretending to be each other for the day, and even when we saw each other at lunch time, my sister had a smirk on her face and be were giggling from a distance.

No one had a clue, and to us, fooling our family members never worked, so when it finally worked on classmates and teachers, we felt like rebels!

I’m never going to forget this day, and all the other days that we performed the “teacher trap”. But due to possible conflicts, all other experiences will not be shared 🙂

I love you Kahealani

 

 

 

Double the fun, twice the confusion

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Ever got mistaken for someone else? Maybe because of your name or even the features of your face? Ever went through roll call in high school and had the same first name as a classmate and answered at the same time?

Now, imagine that awkward two seconds of your day when you are mistaken for someone else, is it funny? Is it interesting? Is it cool?

For most people, when they first encounter this situation it’s very unique, interesting, and sometimes, it’s funny. However, for Twins, it takes a lot of getting use to.

From my personal experiences, I’ve noticed people see us as some kind of game, and it’s fun for them to guess who is who. But for twins, it really does get old! Especially those who we are familiar with.

I remember when my parent’s would confuse us when we were younger; they use to feel terrible for the mix-up, because they understand how important it was to be acknowledged as our individual self.

It gets tiresome at times to remind people who we are, and why we aren’t the other person.

I remember this one particular time that my twin sister Billie’s partner in one of her College courses just walked up to me and began rambling about her group project. It wasn’t until maybe two minutes that she stopped and I was able to say “I’m sorry, but I’m not Billie, I’m her twin sister.”

Sometimes I am able to make a joke out of it and play it off like it’s not a big deal. But having this happen to me at least five times a week can get annoying. Even when my twin sister and I are involved in separate activities and are also in different classes, mix-ups always happen.

What I’ve learned is that being a twin can most certainly be double the fun, but it will always be twice the confusion for others.

I love you Kahealani

Shopping For 1

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Growing up with a twin sister with the same taste and style of clothes was both a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes when we would shop together in the same department store, we would show up at the dressing room with at least two identical clothing materials. Sometimes it was funny, while other times it was a battle.

When both of us really wanted a particular blouse or shirt identical to one another we sometimes fought over who should have the authority to buy it over the other. We fought over who we believed picked out the blouse first, or who’s budget is better to purchase the item of clothing.

While we were children our parents would dress us, so we didn’t really have any control over what we wore. When we got to high school we developed our type of trends in clothing that we enjoyed wearing. However, wearing the same exact outfit for the both of us at the time was a little embarrassing.

We already spent several years wearing the same outfits because of our parents, so we wanted to have the same style but still wear different outfits.

For a while we’ve struggled with who got to buy what blouse or pair of jeans. We just kind of took turns.

Now being in college, we noticed that if we really find a similar item of clothing attracting and we both want it, then we decided that one of us would just buy it and we would share wearing it. I know it sounds weird, but I could buy an outfit that would be enjoyable for both me and my twin sister, and she could do the same.

In addition, we both got what we wanted, no fights or battles, and we didn’t need to spend more money than we would have if we were just buying separate outfits.

We were just shopping for one!

I love you Kahealani

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Sharing The Podium On Graduation

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When people usually walk on the podium during a graduation ceremony, every individual has those split seconds of their individual academic achievements. For twins, it’s a quite the experience.

I’ve noticed that when twins are called during graduation it’s always further noticeable because of the last names. When someone hears Billie Hiraishi Magna Cum Laude, Becca Hiraishi Cum Laude, the comparison has already begun.

Graduation is a time to celebrate an individuals academic success. Every individual is judged by their individual performance and intelligence.

In high school, friends and classmates would always enjoy comparing each others report cards and seeing who got the highest grade on an exam, homework, and participation. For twins, it wasn’t that fun.

Being compared like I’ve mentioned a million times before was very a huge challenge. It seems like a further personal level of comparison then a playful level as with friends when comparing academic achievements. Report cards, transcripts, academic recognitions, club involvements etc. are all factors when twins are being compared during graduation season.

My sister and I always communicated well when uncomfortable situations would appear concerning our academic success. High school graduation is a highly significant time for most people in school. It’s a time to celebrate your individual academic achievements, but being a twin, we’ve noticed that were celebrating both academic achievements. Sometimes I would always wonder what it’s like to just be noticed for my own academic achievements, and not for two people.

In addition, what i’ve learned though the many special days and spotlights that I’ve shared in my lifetime as a twin is that sometimes being a twin gives you a brighter spotlight to shine!

This May, 2013, I will get a chance to share the podium once again with my beautiful twin sister as we graduate from College.

Would you rather shine alone in your spotlight on graduation? Or would you prefer a shared spotlight on this special day?

I love you Kahealani

Soccer, and its many comparisons

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Most sports allow you to be an individual player and show-off your individual skills in that specific sport. With all the competition and comparison of skills and technique, it was always somewhat weird being a twin and playing soccer.

My twin sister and I started playing soccer when we were four years old and from the beginning of our soccer careers our father was always our coach. Most times coaches are judging players and comparing players to others on the team, but my father knew how to coach his twins.

My father didn’t compare us to each others like most coaches did in the future, but he showed us our individual strengths and weaknesses, separately.

With a competitive sport like soccer, it was always a challenge to stand-out when someone else on the team had an identical face, body features, and even soccer skills.

Although we weren’t able to have our father as our coach all the time, other coaches didn’t quite understand how to coach twins. Just with school and academic achievements, twins are always compared to each other.

Sometimes being compared to a bunch of your friends isn’t that bad, but when your put up against the one person you care about most your individual skills never seems like its good enough.

In high school as well as college, soccer got further serious allowing our individual strengths to be compared to everyone in the high school league and then placed at certain levels.

Most of these soccer achievements were always placed in newspapers, local magazine articles, as long as on the internet. When one twins name got in there as a sport achievement and the other didn’t it caused some issues and bittersweet feelings.

But, what i’ve learned through soccer and being a twin is that competition and comparison is always going to be either an issue or a challenge; how you manage these challenges will determine the future success of your individual self.

I love you Kahealani

It’s A Twin Thing

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Why do twins choose to dress alike?

Thats simple, we love confusing the hell out of people!

Whenever there’s a costume party or an event that allows you to dress up, my twin sister and I find it fun to dress in outfits looking like twins, even when we already are twins.

When we were younger, our parents dressed us. Most times we had the same outfit, they were just different colors. I feel that most times they did it as a way to remember who was Billie and who was Becca.

When we were teenagers we were going through a phase of trying to be an individual, and straying away from looking alike. What I noticed is that sometimes we had planned out outfits the night before and we still ended up wearing similar outfits the next day without even knowing.

One time, a couple summer’s ago, my twin sister and I were headed to the beach with our best friends at the time, who were also twins. My twin sister Billie and I were heading to the beach separately, and I needed to go to the store to pick up a new bathing suite with my best friend Bre, and we were going to meet our sisters at the beach.

Ironic as it may seem, I picked out the exact same colors, bottom and top that my twin sister Billie had already previously planned. We got to the beach wearing the exact same thing!

In addition, sometimes twins plan to wear the same clothes because its fun, while other times its just sorta happens; it’s a twin thing!

I love you Kahealani

Stuck Like Glue

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When my twin sister and I were younger we could never fall asleep without holding each other’s hands.

My mother mentioned one time when we were around two years old my twin sister Billie couldn’t stop crying because of a cold she was fighting. At the time, my older sister was at my father’s house, while my mother took my twin sister and I for the weekend.

My mother mentioned that she tried feeding my sister to make her feel better and cooling her down, but nothing seemed to work. Shortly after, I decided to leave my bed and cuddle up by her and hold her hand; within seconds my twin sister Billie stopped crying and fell right to sleep.

Research shows that there are several benefits to twins who sleep next to each other. “Multiples who are co-bedded seem to sleep better, gain weight better, have fewer episodes of apnea and bradycardia, and keep each other warm.” (Bird, 2012)

From personal experience, I find this research to be very true. Even until this day, I sleep better when I’m in the same room as my twin sister.

Throughout our childhood, my twin sister and I always shared rooms. Most times we had our separate beds, however, it wasn’t unusual to find both of us asleep in one bed the next morning.

Throughout high school we were able to get our separate rooms, but we often decided to have mini sleepovers. It just didn’t feel right or comfortable sleeping in a different room.

Sometimes after high school friends and classmates separate and go on their own journey, however, my twin sister and I decided to go to the same University in Belmont, California where we roomed together.

We are currently seniors attending our final semester of college here in California. Although we may not need to hold each other’s hands like we use to, we still share a room at 21 years old. I guess you can say that were just stuck like glue.

I love you Kahealani

It’s a Forever kind of Love

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Have you ever seen boyfriends or girlfriends with their significant others name tattooed on their body? How do you feel about it? I often say to myself, “Wow, that’s ridiculous!” The reason I sometimes feel that way is because once a name is tattooed onto a body it is permanent! Boyfriends, girlfriends, even husbands and wives separate, but the bond of twins and sisterhood is permanent whether it’s tattooed or not.

I sometimes see mothers or fathers getting their children’s names tattooed on them, and to me, that is also a very strong loving bond between parent and child, similar to the bond my twin sister and I share. The behavior of getting a name permanently tattooed on your body is caused by the committed relationship and love that is forever shared.

When we turned 19, we both wanted to get a tattoo, but not knowing exactly what we wanted. In the Hawaiian culture, tattoos aren’t about just throwing on a couple stars or hearts here and there; it’s about meaning, and definition. We both thought very hard about it for a while before we even considered getting tattoos. We both asked ourselves, what is the most important part of my life? What makes me whole? Ironically as it may seem, we both agreed that the most important part of our individual lives were, well, …. each other.

We decided to draw out specific polynesian symbols that describe our relationship.

The waves symbolized our endless tide of love that flows between each other.

The bamboo and koa wood illustrates the firm and strong bond we share.

The Tiare flower in the middle of the tattoo is our older sister Ku’uwehi. She doesn’t know that, but she is the one who holds our family together. She is the glue to our sisterly bond. And although she may not be a twin, our connection and love for her is very strong.

Lastly, we both decided to tattoo each others Hawaiian names on one another. I got the name Kahea which is my twin sisters name, and she got my name, Kapua.

Until this day, yes we fight and argue and dislike each other for a couple hours, but not for one second would I regret having gotten her name on my body; cause this is a FOREVER KIND OF LOVE.

I love you Kahealani

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It’s YOUR special day…. just kidding, it’s OURS

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Everyone always looks forward to that one special day of the year that they have the chance to call their own; their birthday. Funny thing being a twin, I don’t know how that feels.

Imagine waking up on your birthday and seeing another name on the birthday cake besides yours. Imagine closing your eyes and making your wish, then sharing the part you blow out the candles. Imagine others singing happy birthday to you and to someone else. Imagine two birthday princesses at your party, two tiara’s, two everything; it didn’t always feel so special.

Don’t get me wrong, sharing my birthday with my twin sister has been such a blessing times two. Sometimes I noticed that we both got even more attention on us because being twins was so unique. However, what Ive learned for the 21 birthdays that I’ve shared is that our individual selves never get the full appreciation that I feel it deserves.

For example, every single birthday as far as I can remember someone would always say “happy birthday twins,” even if my sister wasn’t with me. Of course I acknowledge it, however, it does feel nice to hear, “happy birthday Becca,” just once, just my name.

Another example had a lot to do with birthday presents. I can recall several birthdays where my sister would open her gift first and love it, and then I open up mine, and its the same exact thing. In my opinion, I didn’t hate the fact that we got the same exact thing, it’s just that we are two very different people, with different personalities, interests, dislikes etc. Most times if a friend of mine knew I loved the color blue, they would get the same color of something for my twin Billie, not knowing her favorite color is pink. Or one year my twin sister really wanted a nail-polish-kit, I got one too…… I was a tom-boy, my nails were in the mud.

These are just some of the things I think about when I look back at my birthdays. Our individuality was not always acknowledged. You know, being six years old and competing over who blows the most candles out or who got the most birthday cards from friends wasn’t always fun.

What I am trying to say is that, trying to be an individual is tough when your use to sharing every possible spotlight you have. Honestly, sometimes I do get jealous of those who have that spotlight all to themselves. But my birthday is a day to shine, and all though I may not shine alone, the shine may be a lot brighter when I share it my twin sister.

I love you Billie Kahealani