A Lesson From Dad

daddy

Have you ever gotten into a huge argument with one of your best friends and then five minutes later you automatically begin to get sad because you don’t want to fight with them?

Well, that’s the bond my twin sister and I share.

I can recall this one experience around the fourth grade that my twin sister and I will never forget. One day, after school, my sister and I were arguing all day and throwing things at each other.

Finally, my father stepped in and pulled us both near each other. He shaped our hands into fists and moved us closer into each others face and said, “you two want to fight, well go ahead!” At the moment, my dad looked very serious and it was probably one of the most awkward feelings I have ever felt.

As soon as we were in each others faces’, my twin and I began shedding all these tears. It was different when we were encouraged to physically hurt each other. It just felt very wrong, and not like us.

We began to feel stupid and embarrassed to even consider physically hurting one another. After that we both hugged each other and apologized.

This was a very good learning experience for my twin sister and I. When we think of that moment today, It always makes us giggle. At the time, I didn’t understand why my dad was encouraging us to fight each other, however, since then, I can honestly say that my twin sister and I have NEVER physically hurt each other.

In addition, my twin sister and I have a very difficult time holding grudges and extended arguments against each other. Through this experience in the fourth grade, my father really taught us both the value in arguments and the importance of forgiving each other.

I love you Kahealani

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Advice For Twin Parents

ohana

This blog topic was requested by another blogger who is interested to know what my parents did right while raising my twin sister and I.

Although my parents divorced while my twin sister and I was about six months old, one very significant thing my parents did a good job at, was setting their differences aside, and never putting us in the middle of their relationship and or arguments.

My parents worked very hard to get a long and provide only a positive relationship in front of my twin sister and I to show that we were not an issue or problem that led up to their divorce.

Aside from the divorce, my parents did an excellent job while raising us both in our individual personalities. Although my twin sister and I are very similar, our interests and hobbies differ. In addition, what our parents needed to do was understand that we are two separate people and treat us differently depending on our interests.

If I wanted to play basketball, my parents did a really good job at allowing me to do that while asking my twin sister what she was interested in, rather than just throwing her into basketball as well. So recognizing the different interests and characteristics of both my twin sister and I was something my parents did right.

Another thing my parents did right while raising us was making sure that my twin sister and I had a very strong and positive relationship. They wanted to make sure that no matter what my twin sister and I had each others back at all times.

Overall, the most important thing to keep in mind as a parent of a twin, as my mother would say, is to never let the twins feel like they are being put in the middle. As any child, you should never let them feel like this, however, for twins, they feel like they are a bigger impact because they’re two of them. And lastly, my mother mentioned that as a parent of twins individuality can make all the difference in raising them.

I will be posting more advice for parents of twins in the near future.

I Love you Kahealani